Despite my distaste for your world's fascination with eating my kind, I have recently witnessed what I believe is called a commercial advertisement for something called a Snicker's Bar . Through careful research I got that the human involved's name is Patrick Ewing, a Hall of Fame "Basketballer." The humorous play on his last name to read "Chewing" struck me as quite funny. Good job humans!
Of course, as mentioned earlier in this post, as a general rule, I find your advertisements for my edible brethren offensive. Take, for instance, a recent Reese's Peanut Butter Cups commercial. There is a slow zoom over a bright orange package of the once great ruler of Candyland, and what I can only assume are computer generated "heat waves" distort its shape ever so slightly. Text reads, "Stop global warming or all the Reese's will melt." There are many more pressing issues to be dealt with when it comes to global warming here on earth. Your concern with the state of matter in which your candy presents itself is disturbing to say the very least.
And then there are those Skittles' commercials. While entertaining, I feel the reference may be over the heads of modern Earth humans. (Pay no mind to my awkward phraseology.) My world's Great Skittle Schism was nearly five centuries ago. The Dark Skittles Wizards and their failed mission to transform our land piece by piece is known to even the smallest gummy cub, but its connection to America's Corporate Disgruntlement escapes me, which leads me to believe it will most certainly be lost on you skinbags...flesh beings?...maybe I should just say "non-candy persons"? Besides that, the reference is slipshod, as there is no record of anyone ever lacking control of their Skittle powers.
Eat that!
Chocolate Pope
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